Coffee, Books, and Kittens

Don't look at me I'm smiling like an idiot and my cheeks are aching from all the smiling.

Wow. Romance has always been something I'm more interested in writing rather then reading. Of course I read a lot of books that contain romance but I don't think I read many that is just focused on Romance like Anna and the French Kiss.

I have to say the only reason I picked this book up was because earlier this year I was invited to go to France in 2016 with my French teacher and a selective other French students and I've been freaking out about it. I'm taking French III next year, but I don't know if I'm ready for FRANCE. (Obviously, my French teacher thinks otherwise and I'm flattered, really.)

Anyway, my point is Anna and this book and her story has given me hope for being helpless with the French language (I'm not as helpless as she was though) and maybe that's part of the reason I loved this book!!

Okay but it's not the only reason because dude, Anna was so cute and everything I want to be. And while I loved the romance in the book I love that Bridget and her exchange gifts of banana's and bridge's. I love that Merideth wears a lot of rings and I love that Josh is an artist and I love how Rashmi is such a badass character that I loved.

I'm seriously in love with all these characters.

But how could I forget about St. Clair? What a wonderful, goofy, beautiful, French/English/American character to throw into a story. Like... He's almost as great as Levi. I think those two could bond over hair. (Levi, of course, from Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell)

And I love that St. Clair is afraid of heights and I love that he loves his mother so much. Speaking of which, what an emotional roller coaster ride!

While it's true that I smiled a lot during this book I'm also sure I cried just as much as I smiled. I'm not a perky or outgoing as Anna but I can relate to her a lot. That being said, whenever she was in tears, so was I. And when St. Clair's mother called to say she has cancer, I had to step away from the book a moment and bite my fist to stop my sob.

I wasn't expecting to read this book so quickly. It was something I picked up because it was big and because I'm unable to buy more books and I thought it would keep me occupied for a while. But I was wrong. Because I couldn't put it down. Because I still need more of Anna's story. And I'm excited to continue on a read about the cute redhead in Anna's class who's crushing on Josh. I'm interested. I'm intrigued

Now can we please talk about how much Levi (from Fangirl) and St. Clair would bond over their great hair?

Oh. My. Stars! (oh gosh, I adore that statement so much.)

There's so much Cinderella in this world, the tale of Ella or Cinderella or Cinder being told many different times by many different people usually all containing the things that we find make a Fairy Tale a Cinderella Tale.

The first and most obvious one is Cinderella's awful Stepmother and her two just as awful stepsisters that never fail to make Cinderella feel like less of a person. They make her into a slave, a maid of the house. Also, object found throughout the story, like the pumpkin turning into the carriage, the Godmother to turn the pumpkin into the carriage, Cinderella's beautiful dress and the beautiful slippers that she wears to the ball that she loses running from the prince when the clock struck 12.

Well, I was surprised to not find any of that while reading Cinders story.

Cinder isn't the kind hearted, sweet, little maid we find in most Cinderella stories, for starters. Instead, she's a sarcastic, badass, mechanic. Secondly, her stepmother is awful, but Cinder actually has a pretty close sisterly bond with at least one of her stepsisters.

Now replace the pumpkin with an old beat up car that Cinder takes it upon herself to fix (because she don't need no fairy godmother to do this shit for her. She's that badass.) Now replace her beautiful dress with one that is stained with grease, and those beautiful slippers for a pair of boots. There is no shoe left on the steps of the palace, no... Instead, Cinder leaves behind her foot.

Oh yeah, did I forget to mention Cinder isn't all human? She's actually a cyborg. Her leg completely metal, her foot and her hand can come off and replaced with completely new parts!

This isn't unusual in the new and now world. There are tons of Cyborgs. But being a Cyborg isn't what makes Cinder so special.

Poney only fourteen and kind heart and chirpy and head over heels for the prince. Oh and while reading you have but no choice to fall in love with this sweet little creature. And, of course, after you fall in love with her she gets the deadly plague that has taken over Cinders world.

And while we are speaking of sweet little creatures that we fall in love with who are head over heals for the prince I suppose now is a time to introduce Iko. Iko is kind of like Cinders sidekick. She's a robot that Cinder built herself. She's funny and adorable and is always there for Cinder.

And we also have the prince himself. His name is Kai, he's as loving, charming and wonderful as any Cinderella fairy tale prince you will come across. Except he has a background and a story to come with him which I find you don't get often in Cinderella stories.

I read this book because a friend of mine on Goodreads recommended it to me. I'll admit that it's been a while and I can't believe that it's taken me this long to pick up this book because it was incredible. I am so beyond eager to pick up the next books because I love Lunar characters and I adore Cinder and Iko and Kai.

My first thoughts about it when I heard that the next books take on new fairy tale characters (such as Little Red Riding Hood, Rapunzel, and now Snow White!) that Cinder would leave me with a good ending. Perhaps it ending with Cinder and Kai getting married. After all, that's what happens in Cinderella tale's, right?

W R O N G!!

I was left on a total cliff hanger! There was so much going on and I was turning through the pages fast. I swear I let out a cry when I turned the page and read 'Acknowledgment' at the top. I wasn't ready for it to end.

But I read that I will be seeing more of Cinder and Iko and Kai, I don't have to worry about it. But not only Cinder and Iko and Kai. But Scarlet (Little Red Riding Hood), Cress (Rapunzel), and Winter (Snow White!). Even more fairy tale characters I love from my childhood to introduce to this new sci-fi, robot, plague infested, fairy tale world.

I simply cannot contain my excitement for carrying on with this series.

So I read this book because I love Lauren Oliver with everything that I have. I love the Delirium series and I own Before I Fall (which I do plan to read next.) and I do consider Oliver to be one of my favorite authors. I find her writing style to be very interesting and smart and easy to follow and great and beautiful. I love her stories. I love her characters.

When I first started Panic I have to admit that I was a little disappointed. I was confused at some points in the beginning and I was starting to think I wasn't going to like the book at all.

I was so wrong.

God this book was so great. I always read book reviews saying things like 'The book keep's you on the edge of your seat' 'you'll never want to put it down' and they use words like 'thriller' and I've just never had a book be that amazing to me. I've only read two books in my life that were literally impossible for me to put down. (The Fault In Our Stars and Fangirl) but they weren't 'edge of your seat thrillers.' they were both just unbelievably good books that I never wanted to end.

That's another thing. I don't ever want my books to end. Sometimes I have trouble picking up books that don't have a serious because I never want the story to end. I need more and I need to know what happened. But I didn't regret it when I finished this book. (It almost ended as well as Bitter End) You got what happened after Panic. You got to know that Bishop and Heather and Nat and Dodge were together and we got to know that they were happy and it is great to end a book like that. I think it's the best way.

There's no cliffhangers that make you stay up at night thinking of all the different possible endings for the book or wondering thoughts about the characters happy endings. Panic was wonderful.

I cried and I worried with these characters. I wanted their safety. I was caught gasping in a room full of my family members when I found out Bishop was a judge. I didn't see it coming. I never saw it coming. Any of it. So many things that I had to reread just to make sure that I read it right and, again, it was WONDERFUL. I've never had a book put me on edge like that. Panic has done it.

Okay, I have a lot of mixed feelings about this book. I'd like to point out that the only reason I picked this book up was because the author shares my first name. That's a little lame, right? But whatever, because when I got home and pulled it out of the Barns & Noble bag I read the inside cover and was nearly brought to tears. That's right, nearly brought to tears just because of the description on the cover sleeve.

Let me explain why. Because this book is about a girl named Alex who had been called and been told that she is actually a he. Because this book is about a 16-year-old transgender kid. Because this book might be the hope for some kids out there struggling like Alex is. Because they could be dealing with a family like Alex's. Because this book is about a topic that people like to avoid because Alex is different and that's scary in this world. It's something we don't get to read a lot about. It's like trying to find books with gay main characters. Except so much harder.

I liked the book because even though I would never compare my struggles to the struggles Alex went through I can still find connections with her. I feel like she was forced to grow up too bad, she was forced this load on her shoulders that she wasn't ready to carry, but she carried it anyway.

I liked this book because Alex knew what she wanted and she knew who was was despite the fact that everyone told her otherwise. Because she fought for who she was.

And the book made me angry. I read it within three hours and I was furious with Alex's mom and some of her internet friends or whatever they were.

I was furious because when you have a child you have to be ready for whatever. Being a parent is a full-time job. You have to love your child twenty-four-seven and it shouldn't matter whether it's a boy or a girl or if your child likes boys or girls or both. You have to be totally okay with the fact that you could possibly be a parent to a transgender child.

And with that, you're not allowed to 'take some time off' and go to the island of Fiji for a couple of day's. Parent's don't get breaks. They don't get vacations away from kids because they just can't just stop saying 'he' and start saying 'she.'

The whole time I could understand that it could take some getting use to and that it might be hard for Alex's parents to... Comprehend some of the stuff. But it just didn't settle well with me. Alex say's she's a girl. Alex... Alex is a girl whether you want her to be or not. Why was that so hard for them to get? Why did her mother keep referring to her as him/he/his. She's 15... Nearly 16 and you're forcing her to take hormonal pills (literally, she tries to force Alex to eat some pancakes because she found out she stopped taking the pills and she had put them into her pancakes (French Toast maybe?) without telling Alex.) that will make her into more of a dude than a chick.

I don't know. That screams SHIITTY and, as Alex once put it, ABUSIVE.

Phew, okay. This book was forced onto me by my lovely English teacher. History, first of all, is not my thing. I never get a good grade in that class and I don't like it. It bores me. So, needless to say, this book and the lesson that went along with it bored me.

Now, maybe it was just that I was forced to read it and I was forced to compare it and all the characters to the historical figures of the Russian Revolution. Maybe if I had come across this book on my own I would have actually liked it.

Except, I don't think that's how it would have worked.

I didn't like the way it was written, throughout the whole story I never felt like I knew the characters and probably because they never talked! I literally felt like they had no character. (perhaps that's why I kept getting them all confused. Snowball was Napolean at times and Squealer and Snowball switched places. And I could never remember the raven's name.)

The only time I ever felt emotion while reading this story was when Boxer was on his death bed. Boxer is by far my favorite character. Even though he wasn't intelligent and picked up on the motto 'Napolean is always right' I loved that he worked hard. And I loved that he was willing to do anything for the farm because he truly believed that it was a better place with Jones gone.

AND THEN HE FREAKING DIED.

It takes a lot for books to get this low on my rating scale. I mean, even books that teachers make me read I can find something I like about them. Of Mice and Men was wonderful. The Diary of Anne Frank was moving. To Kill a Mockingbird is actually one of my favorite classics of all time. But Animal Farm was a different story.

Maybe I'll re-read it in a couple years and be able to grip a better understanding. Maybe I'll like it better then. I don't know. But for now, only two stars

Rainbow Rowell has put my feelings and thoughts that I never thought could ever be worded correctly into the perfect words to explain my thoughts and my feelings about so many different things.

First with Eleanor & Park, but this book hit home with me. I cried a lot, sometimes not even because I was sad but just because WOW it was perfect. I love Cather, I love Levi. I think Wern represents my sister a lot even though she's not a twin and is actually three years older than me. My dad left us when I was nearly five, just like their mom left them when they were, like, eight. Reagan I think represents my best friend VERY well.

I had always been so afraid of relationships and trusting people and I pushed people away, but at the same time I was so sick of being alone. I built up walls around me and expected people to find me. I can't change and to read this book about Cather-- who I feel is in a similar situation--  makes me feel so much better about it. I know that there might be people that will fight to be in my life. People that will break through the brick walls I've built up.

I write, I write a lot of fanfiction actually and I use to write some with my sister, I'm serious... It's scary how much I relate to Cather. 

I don't have an incredibly sweet and goofy boyfriend who works at Starbuck but my friend and I joke it's only because I'm not in college yet. 

Levi was so easy to fall in love with (Just as Park was.) The book was interesting and I NEVER WANTED TO PUT IT DOWN (I didn't, I read it in one day. oops) but it was also easy to follow. I never had to reread something because I didn't understand. I just got it. I understood and I followed it well. I absolutely ADORE that in a book in every way.

This book will be one of those books (Like The Fault In Our Stars and Paper Towns) That I will read over and over and over again. It'll be one I cry over if it goes missing, it'll be one I won't let anyone including my best friend borrow because I love it with my life.

When someone asks me if I could only grab a few things after my house set on fire, it's going to be one of those things. It's HOPE and I LOVE it more than anything I've ever read before. No one could possibly understand my LOVE for this book.

If you ever need help understanding what's going on in my head READ THIS BOOK AND I SWEAR YOU WILL KNOW EVERYTHING.